SUPPORTING your teen’s journey

While you cannot control where your child is admitted, you CAN influence whether your teenager views the college process as stressful and frustrating — or as an exciting time, filled with opportunity. I invite you to reject the hype that often prevails and focus solely on your student’s successful outcome, whatever that may mean.

Encourage your teen to be ‘intentionally curious’, try new things and explore interests outside the class as much as possible. Talk about the importance of developing coping skills, the ability to prioritize and the benefit of effective time management and balance in their life . You know your teenager best and your input is critical. However, this is the time that students must develop their own voice, learn to self-advocate, and be accountable for their choices and actions.

I support parents through what can be a life changing event, replacing anxiety and feelings of overwhelm with hope, clarity, and direction.

“All the advice you gave my daughter helped! Thank goodness she listened to you, especially when she wouldn’t listen to me!”
— Stephanie, Mom of Nicole, Senior at Redwood High School

for Parents/Guardians who:

  • See the value in their student forging their own path toward future goals;

  • Choose to reduce excessive achievement pressure around preparing for and applying to college;

  • Prefer to minimize, or avoid, frustrating exchanges about school, grades, and the future, focussing Instead on ‘connection instead of correction’;

  • Encourage their teenager’s independent ideas, thoughts, and understand that accountability goes along with the choices they make;

  • Support alternative, diverse, and out-of-the-box thinking regarding their student’s “personal happiness quotient.”

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“Kristina’s involvement immediately took the stress and anxiety out of our relationship with our son. It helped us stay emotionally connected during this demanding, stress-filled time.”
— Kristin, Mom of Gabe, a Freshman at Eckerd College

WAYS PARENTS CAN HELP

good protocol to STAY in a positive state-of-mind

  • Understand that this is their journey, not yours

  • Let your teen make his/her own decisions, experience mistakes and/or mishaps

  • Talk to your teen with respect, like you would a co-worker or friend

  • Ask curious, inquisitive open-ended questions

  • Listen, seek to understand, be open-minded and empathetic - above all, honor confidentiality

  • When they come to you with a problem or share a story, ask what they think and what they’ll do instead of attempting to solve

  • Help them to navigate their way through any challenges that may arise, using coping strategies that they identify as useful

  • Model healthy behavior around work, self-care, relationships, drug/alcohol use and communication

  • Realize that the college admissions landscape is quite a bit different today than when you (and I) applied

  • Avoid sharing your teen’s plans with others (especially those in your student’s community) and maintain their privacy

  • Where someone applies -- or gets in — to college doesn’t constitute worth or future success, focus on character over achievement

  • Let your kids know that It is okay (suggested/recommended) to keep post high school plans (where they apply, major in, get in, etc) to themselves

  • Let go of bias, judgement and ego

  • Focus on “connection over correction” and what you can do to deepen your relationship with your teen and honor their journey.